Shifting Purpose

Much of my identity and purpose throughout my adult years has come from my career. In recent years, I have learned to be more in sync with the larger purpose of life, but that didn’t impact my career drive, it just provided for a healthier balance.

I got sick during the busiest stretch of my mortgage career. I tried with all my might to keep the business going in the weeks after being released from the hospital, but it became obvious to me and my doctor that I was too sick for that.

Thus, I went on medical leave and was able to begin to put all my attention toward healing.

Once the three months of my short-term leave had expired, I was then approved for long-term disability from two insurance companies, that through my employer I had fortunately paid premiums with.

My book, Shake Yourself Free, chronicles lessons learned from my adversity filled life. I had just finished writing the book and was in the editing process when I got sick.

Now I am amid a major life transition and am trying again to use the same lessons I have written about to help me with this life-changing event.

My leave with my employer expired this past Friday, on June 2nd.

Two times previously, with documentation from my primary care doctor, they had extended the leave for additional months. In anticipation of the leave expiring, in May I submitted updated paperwork to my contact in the corporate human resources department. I then heard from her that we needed a Zoom conference to discuss.
What transpired with her (and a silent HR witness), was less than a two-minute conversation telling me that my leave would not be extended. I would be terminated effective June 2nd, with the eligibility to be rehired….if my health ever improves.

As June 2nd has now passed and a new week has started, it feels strange and a bit empty that I didn’t receive a single call or text from my local branch, an office that I used to feel like such a big, important part of.

But I get it, as the reality is that I am not well and there’s no timeframe for me to ever return. I have known this for quite some time, so the decision of my employer is just the formality in solidifying the fact that I am moving into the next big phase of life.
Career-wise, nothing’s ever flowed in an orthodox way for me. So, a triumphant countdown and big party celebrating a long career and the hope of a great retirement isn’t anything I ever dreamed of. As I exhibit in my book, we never know what the next chapter is going to look like. Realizing this so long ago must be the reason why I always seem to put such little thought into planning.

I’m working hard on my health. Walking nearly an hour each morning and enjoying my discovery of yoga. The practice and principles of yoga are so helpful to both my body and mind. My lungs are still heavy oftentimes, which creates the need to cough. The chronic fatigue requires a nap most afternoons. The severe nerve issues in my arms seem to be improving with recent sessions of acupuncture and good help from an amazing physical therapy team. In February, I lost eyesight in my left eye. Thankfully it has come back, but both my ophthalmologist and rheumatologist suggest that the Iritis, a serious eye condition that is tied to the autoimmune issues from my long-covid, can continue to flare up.
My brain doesn’t work like it did. I get easily confused. I sometimes don’t remember things that just happened. I struggle with what once was easy math and I can’t recall certain facts. There are some similarities to the issues Shelly faces from her traumatic brain injury.

What’s been challenging for me is the lack of daily comradery and interaction with others. In these latter years of my journey, I’ve truly turned into a people person, so I greatly miss the daily connection and conversations with peers and clients.
I had a book launch party last month. Dozens of friends and family were there from literally all aspects of my life. I had several new friends attend that I have met recently in my daily early morning trips to the coffee shop. It reiterated to me that I’m so blessed to be able to meet and enjoy people so easily. I’m confident that this will help me in this new phase of life.
This book’s release, and the excitement surrounding it, couldn’t have been timed better. As I struggle with the void of not working, it’s helped me understand that my purpose of helping people will continue to flourish.
A year and a half after coming so close to death, I couldn’t be more thankful for Shelly and her incredible support. Our 29th wedding anniversary was on May 14th, and we had an amazing time on a 9-day Caribbean cruise. It was our first big trip like that in nearly twenty years. It felt great to finally be able to celebrate in this way. It truly felt well deserved, as we’ve been through so much together.

I’m grateful to continue to be able to watch Dylan and Taylor grow as amazing young men. Becoming empty nesters in recent years has been a big adjustment, but the pride of watching them transition into adulthood is like nothing I ever could have imagined.
My parents live nearby, and I’m blessed to be able to closely care for them as age has slowed them down. They sacrificed so much for me; it feels good to be able to now do so much for them.
Here we go; I can’t help but be curious and excited to see what comes next in this wild ride of mine.