The Upstairs Room

In a few weeks it will be 25 years since I moved away from Bakersfield, California to Western Kentucky. One of the most difficult things was saying goodbye to Dana’s parents (Dan and Mary). I had become very close with them in the 2 and a half years since Dana had died. But I knew … Continue reading The Upstairs Room

Fear is a by-product of Grief

Over twenty-seven years ago my world was shattered in an instant by a careless driver. I have chronicled here in this blog how I have put the pieces of my life back together over the past quarter century. As I have put my life back together, my amazing immediate family consists of my wife, Shelly, … Continue reading Fear is a by-product of Grief

The 10,000th Day

I have been numbers driven as far back as I can remember, whether in my business or personal life. In my journey since Dana’s death, there have always been many different dates and numbers playing out in my head. Sometimes comforting, other times maddening! An early example of this is that I was aware when … Continue reading The 10,000th Day

Let the Widowed Move Forward Without Judgment

As I have continued moving forward on my long and twisting path since losing Dana, I have finally let much of the negativity go. The most damaging, long-lasting side-effect from the trauma came from the cruelty of judgment.  As I described in "My Story", much of my remaining anger, rage and resentment departed as we were … Continue reading Let the Widowed Move Forward Without Judgment

My Wife’s Inspiring Battle With Traumatic Brain Injury and PTSD

  The five-year anniversary of my wife Shelly’s traumatic brain injury just passed last week. Her life, and our entire family’s life, was forever changed in a split second on that cold day in January of 2013. We had a freak accident happen within our home. A home-made bottle of ginger ale was taken from … Continue reading My Wife’s Inspiring Battle With Traumatic Brain Injury and PTSD

Resilience and Perspective

The simple definition of resilience is “the capacity to recover from difficulties”. I have constantly heard how “resilient” I am throughout the differing degrees of adversity that I have been forced to endure. When I look back at how I reacted and carried on through these situations I am stricken by the fact that I … Continue reading Resilience and Perspective

The Peace I Feel From Telling My Story

  It has been twenty seven years now that I have been on this long and winding journey after the loss of my fiancée, Dana. Long, long ago I started repeating the motto “one day at a time” in my head.  One day at a time is how I was able to come to terms … Continue reading The Peace I Feel From Telling My Story

My Story

Ten Thousand Days

081417Sunset“Three more weeks and we will never have to say goodbye again.” Those words have echoed in my head for over twenty six years now.

Thirty years ago I was a sophomore at the local community college. I kept seeing this cute girl walking to class that had the biggest, most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I was head over heels, but far too shy to approach her on my own. I would see her often talking to a girl named Gina, whom I had known since elementary school. So I cautiously asked Gina about her. She said “oh that’s Dana, she is such a sweetheart”. A few days later she gave me her phone number and said that “Dana would love for you to call her”. I called her that afternoon, we talked for two hours. We went on a date three days later.

Dana (pronounced Dan-na) was…

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Pictures of You

We never had the opportunity to establish a home together.  So when Dana died, I was left with only a handful of physical things from our relationship.   It consisted of some gifts she had given me, letters and cards as well as a lot of pictures.  Our relationship was long before the modern day cell … Continue reading Pictures of You

The Reality of Time

  I am approaching the 27 year anniversary of Dana's death. I was 23 then, now I am 50.  Often I wonder how I made it all these years.  Looking forward in that amount of time, I will be 77 in 27 years.  That truly boggles my mind!  But it also gives me comfort in … Continue reading The Reality of Time