SISTERSDina, left, with Shelly (2002) As well acquainted as I am with grief, I’ve been blessed not to lose anyone close to me too soon since I lost my fiancé, Dana, thirty years ago. I’m an only child, and my wife Shelly has just one sibling, her older sister Dina. After painfully struggling for a … Continue reading A Meaningful Life
30 years. For me, milestone anniversaries always add an additional layer of reflection and perspective. I think back to those significant, fun-filled days leading up to November 13, 1990. We didn’t have a care in the world. The future was ours with an unlimited amount of potential and happiness ahead. We often talked about how … Continue reading What 30 Years Means to Me
The older we get the more we reflect on what has been; as well as lamenting on what possibly should have been. Time is complex. Time gives reason to celebrate as well as reason to regret. Into my 50’s now, my perspective has come into focus over the past few years to a point where … Continue reading When Time Allows for Contentment
Continuing to inch closer to completing my book, this morning I was working on a particular point in time that was a crucial point in my journey. My visit to Dana's room after 24 years pulled so much together in giving me the grace for some much needed peace. The writing of this visit was … Continue reading Revisiting the Upstairs Room
In December "Elephant Journal" asked me to update "My Story" by diving deeper into some of the lessons that I have learned. They published my updated version (here); which I am also posting below. Thank you for reading 🙂 "Time heals all wounds" is a phrase that we all hear often. Living with a significant loss … Continue reading Never Married but Still a Widower: Finding Gratitude Years after my Girlfriend’s Death.
I originally shared the story of Shelly's inspiring journey almost two years ago. It's since been published by sites such as The Mighty and Love What Matters as well as being shared by MSN and Yahoo. I updated the piece for the Elephant Journal. Last week they published it on their site. Below is the … Continue reading My Wife’s Life-Changing Freak Accident & her Battle with a Traumatic Brain Injury.
For well over a year I have been working on a book that chronicles my resilient journey through adversity. I am more than 75% done with the first draft. I'm working hard to find the proper time to meet my goal of having the first draft done and to my publisher early in the new … Continue reading Resilience and Perspective Revisited
It’s no secret that music means a lot to me. It’s therapeutic in a way that I can’t even begin to accurately describe. Sometimes it enables me to remember. Other times it allows me to forget. The deep, dark, introspective stuff has a way of speaking directly to me. Nick Cave has been a favorite … Continue reading Nick Cave’s New Album is a Jaw-dropping Listen for those of us who have a Close Relationship with Grief
November seems to come around faster with passing each year. On November 13th it will be 29 years since Dana died. It’s just one quick year away from the milestone of 30 years. On one hand this is mind boggling to me. But on the other hand I do feel like it’s been every bit of … Continue reading November Comes Fast
Grief is a lifelong journey. As much as others wished I could, I could not wave a wand and be over it. My life was turned upside down by the sudden death of my fiancée, Dana. The night prior to heading back to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo for her final weeks before graduation, she … Continue reading Celebrating My Past